How to Stay Safe from a Stalker: A Survival Guide for Women Who Feel Watched, Followed, or Threatened
If you feel watched, followed, or manipulated — trust your instincts. Here’s how to recognise stalking early and take back control of your safety.
What you’re about to read is a condensed version of a much more comprehensive guide I’ve written for women dealing with stalking. If you’d like deeper insight, step-by-step safety advice, or simply need to feel more supported, please explore the full version titled Stalking Survival Guide for Women: Expert Advice for Staying Safe.
Stalking is not romantic. It’s not flattering. It’s not about love; it’s about power, control, and obsession. And it can escalate quickly. For many women, stalking begins with subtle intrusions, repeated messages, showing up at your workplace, or ‘accidental’ meetings. Over time, it can evolve into a terrifying campaign of intimidation, manipulation, and fear.
If you’re reading this because you think you’re being stalked, you probably are. And you are not alone.
As a gender-based violence expert who has spent decades speaking with survivors, analysing case studies, and advising professionals, I know how isolating and frightening stalking can be. But I also know that you can take back control, reduce the risks, and stay safe, emotionally, physically, and legally.
This guide is for any woman who has the sinking feeling that someone is watching her and wants to understand her options.
What Is Stalking — And Why Is It So Dangerous?
Stalking is a pattern of unwanted and intrusive behaviour that causes fear, alarm, or distress. It may include following you, sending messages, tracking your movements, appearing uninvited, or making threats. It often doesn’t start with violence, but many stalkers escalate, and stalking is often a precursor to assault or homicide.
Did you know? 40% of stalking victims are stalked by current or former intimate partners. 57% of intimate partner stalking victims are stalked during the relationship. 74% of those stalked by a former intimate partner report violence and/or coercive control during the relationship. 81% of women stalked by a current or former husband or cohabitating partner were also physically assaulted by that partner. 31% of women stalked by an intimate partner were also sexually assaulted. 41% of victims stalked by a current intimate partner and 35% stalked by a former intimate partner experience threats of harm (SPARC, 2018).
Early Stalking Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore
Here are common red flags:
You’ve said “no” or blocked them — but they keep contacting you.
They show up where you are — “by coincidence.”
They ask your friends, co-workers, or neighbours about you.
You find evidence they’ve been near your home or workplace.
They attempt to track your movements digitally (e.g., AirTags, GPS, spyware).
You feel anxious, paranoid, or watched — without understanding why.
Trust your intuition. Stalkers often work just under the threshold of what police would consider “criminal.” But your fear is a signal, and it’s valid.
Steps You Can Take Right Now to Stay Safe
1. Document Everything
Keep a log of all incidents, dates, times, screenshots, and details. Include texts, voicemails, photos of gifts left at your door, and sightings. This documentation is often crucial for legal protection, such as restraining orders or prosecution.
2. Tell Someone You Trust
You do not have to deal with this alone. Whether it’s a friend, family member, HR department, or women’s support service, share what’s happening. Stalkers rely on secrecy and silence.
3. Avoid Direct Confrontation
Do not try to reason with or warn the stalker off. Any reaction, even negative, can reinforce their obsession or give them a perceived sense of power. In most cases, zero contact is safest.
4. Increase Your Digital Security
Stalkers often use technology to monitor their victims. Some steps you can take:
Change all passwords (use a password manager)
Disable geotagging on social media
Check for unknown devices paired with your phone
Run antivirus/spyware detection apps
Consider creating a new email or social profile
5. Strengthen Home & Travel Safety
Ensure your home has secure locks and consider a video doorbell or camera
Vary your routes and routines
Avoid isolated areas if walking alone
Let someone know your whereabouts, especially if going to unfamiliar places
What to Do Legally If You're Being Stalked
In many countries, stalking is a criminal offence, but law enforcement often requires evidence of repeated behaviour. That’s why your documentation is vital.
You can:
File a police report
Apply for a restraining or non-molestation order
Contact legal advocates or victim support services
Be clear, calm, and firm in your communication with authorities. Explain how the stalker’s behaviour makes you feel unsafe and share any evidence you’ve gathered.
Understanding the Stalker’s Psychology
Stalkers often fall into recognisable types, ex-intimate partners, rejected suitors, resentful acquaintances, or delusional admirers. But the motive doesn’t change the impact: they want control. And they often feel entitled to your time, attention, or affection, even without your consent.
This is not your fault. It is not something you caused. And it is most certainly not something you have to tolerate.
Final Words of Advice
If you’re dealing with a stalker, you may feel powerless, anxious, or like you're going mad. That’s the emotional toll they aim to inflict.
But the truth is you can regain power. Every step you take, documenting, informing others, securing your tech, or seeking legal help, is an act of reclaiming your safety and autonomy.
If you feel scared or unsure, please don’t wait. Speak to a professional, visit a women’s support organisation, and develop a personal safety plan. Your life and peace of mind matter more than someone else’s obsession.
If this article resonates with you
Please consider reading the full stalking survival guide on my website womens-safety.com — a trauma-informed, practical resource built on real experiences and decades of frontline advocacy. Alternatively please read my latest article, answering the question What is Gender-Based Violence, helping readers understand its causes, impact, and solutions.