How Can a Woman Protect Herself from a Man?

7 Real-World Answers Every Woman Should Know

Many women find themselves asking the same question: How can I protect myself from a man? Whether it’s fear of a partner’s threatening behavior, the danger of being followed home at night, or emotional manipulation in a relationship, many women wonder what they can do to effectively protect themselves form a man.

As someone who has spent more than three decades studying violence against women, supporting survivors of sexual and physical violence, and authoring NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Personal Safety, I believe women deserve clear and honest answers.

Below are seven real-world strategies every woman should know. Each is rooted in survivor-informed insight, trauma awareness, and practical reality, not theory. For further reading, you’ll find a link to my book and a blog about the best personal safety tips for women.

Seven Real-World Personal Safety Strategies Every Woman Should Know

1. How can a woman protect herself from a violent man?

Your personal safety starts with your situational and environmental awareness. Notice exits, be aware of your environment and the behaviour of people around you. Trust your intuition, even when it feels inconvenient or socially uncomfortable. Regrettably, too often, women are conditioned to be polite, to avoid making a scene, being rude, or to second-guess their instincts.

When you're out in public, walk with your head held high, shoulders back, and a purposeful stride. Move in a way that signals to others you know exactly where you're going and that you're comfortable in your surroundings. When it feels safe, make brief eye contact as it conveys both awareness and confidence. Also, if possible, plan your journeys in advance and identify safe places along the way, such as a friend’s home, a 24-hour supermarket, a petrol station, or a late-night pharmacy.

Being prepared doesn’t mean you’re paranoid. It means you’re empowered.

2. What are the best ways to emotionally protect yourself from a man in a relationship?

Set clear boundaries and set them early. Emotional self-protection begins with recognising the warning signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship: gaslighting, love-bombing, financial control, manipulation, or coercive control. If a man tries to isolate you from your friends, questions your memory of events, or dismisses your feelings, don’t ignore it. These are not misunderstandings, they are red flags, and they deserve your utmost attention.

Surround yourself with a trusted support circle such as friends, family members, or even a colleague, who will listen without judgment and offer genuine empathy. If something feels off, don’t keep it to yourself. Speak to someone. You don’t need to have all the answers or explain things perfectly. Sometimes, simply saying the words out loud can help you to gain a much better perspective.

You are allowed to feel safe in a relationship. And if something feels wrong, it probably is.

3. What should a woman do if she feels unsafe around a man she knows?

Familiarity doesn’t guarantee safety. If your gut signals discomfort, even if it’s a date, neighbour, friend or partner, don’t ignore it. Acknowledge any red flags, create space immediately, excuse yourself, or call someone while in his presence. Text a code word to a trusted contact if needed. Keep your phone charged and accessible. Pre-emptive steps save lives. Always believe your own instincts before social expectations. And never hesitate to cause a scene and draw maximum attention to yourself. Bad men planning bad things don’t want attention from bystanders.

4. How can a woman defend herself pysically from a man?

Physical self-defense is about effectiveness, not strength. That means any self-defense technique you want to learn, must be simple and cause sufficient damage to guarantee you have time to escape safely, or prevent that man from taking any hostile actions against you. These techniques must be tremendously realistic especially in situations which will be extremely stressful. Focus on vulnerable targets: eyes and throat, and groin if are in a position to successfully strike or kick it with all force necessary. A quick strike, then escape. Carrying a legal safety device. Train if you can, even basic self-defense classes can help improve your confidence and body language and rewire panic into action. The goal is not to fight, but to create an opportunity to get away.

5. When should you run, and when should you fight back?

Escape whenever you safely can. Escaping is always safer than engaging, and more importantly in the eyes of the law it is always the best thing to do. But if you're cornered or attacked, fight like hell. Use your voice, shout, cream, draw maximum attention to yourself, and resist with everything you have. In a real-life situation, where your life is at risk, you may be required to take action your moral compass might struggle with. In many real-life cases, perpetrators chose to withdraw when a woman fought back using physical force. Know that your right to self-defense is not negotiable. The law supports reasonable, appropriate, and necessary force used in response to a real threat.

6. Is it legal for a woman to defend herself against a man?

In most developed countries, yes. The law permits reasonable force to protect yourself from harm. This includes pushing, striking, or escaping a dangerous man if you believe you're at immediate risk. In fact, most developed countries will prioritise your right of safety you’re your right to live, and it is based on this fact that you have the right to protect it by any action you deem necessary. However, legal definitions vary by country. To learn more about the legal protections in your country/ Knowledge of your rights is one of your strongest protections.

7. How can a woman emotionally protect herself from a man she lives with?

If you feel unsafe in your own home, create a personal safety plan. Store essentials in a “go bag” hidden somewhere safe, this might be with your friend’s, a family member, or at work. Talk to a domestic abuse support organisation anonymously, many offer exit strategies and they will be of great help in case you decide to escape and start again. Emotional protection might also mean quietly gathering evidence such as medical reports and images and document any incidents such as timelines to establish any escalation in terms of severity of incidents or in terms of frequency. Also consider changing passwords and identifying trustworthy allies. Leaving is hard, but you are not alone. There is life after abuse, and it can be one of freedom, not fear.

Conclusion

Every woman deserves to feel safe, whether she's walking down the street, behind closed doors in her own home, or in the company of someone she hardly knows. Taking steps to protect yourself isn’t at all about living in fear. It’s about being informed, aware, and confident in setting clear boundaries. Your safety matters, and you have every right to be safe and protect yourself.

About the Author

Robert Kaiser is a women’s personal safety expert, violence prevention advocate, and author of NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety. His work is based on over three decades of painstaking research and survivor-led insights to empower women with practical strategies, critical awareness, and the right to live free from violence.